So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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