Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
