dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
