Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
