our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
