? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize