things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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