I don't usually arrange sex via text message
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
