even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
