worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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