Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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