Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
