I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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