This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
