my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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