Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
