I just saw a hot homeless man
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
