I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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