"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
