forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
