I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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