I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
