Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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