four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
