I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
