Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
