Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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