Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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