# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
