Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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