someone owes me an orgasm
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
