Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
