Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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