you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
