i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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