Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
