brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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