I'm going to jail i love you
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
