Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
