WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
