Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
