I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
