addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
