So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
