omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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