i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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