The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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