my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
