Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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