hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
