WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
