lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
