you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
