I don't think brook has ever known best
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
