I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
