He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
